We may find ourselves in a situation where someone says something we know to be wrong. My first reaction before reading this section of Carnegie’s book was to immediately think about correcting the person. I would formulate an argument based on logic and reason and then present it. When I look back at those situations I realize they have one thing in common, the person never became a client of mine. Even after in some cases the person accepting I was right.
The problem was I had committed the cardinal sin of saying to a client, “You’re wrong”. I may have used other words but in effect that is what I said to them. Once you say that to a client you can wave goodbye to their business. Continue reading “How to avoid making enemies” »
When we speak of family activities, what we’re really talking about is time together: both in quantity and quality.
As hectic as our lives are, the key is to integrate into our family culture the types of activities that insure we spend enough time together.
Here are a few things we’ve tried that have blessed our family in countless ways:
This can be a tough one to pull off, but I’m convinced that it’s a crucial activity for any couple. A “date” can be anything from a nice dinner out, to going for a walk, or even a trip to the grocery store. The point is that you and your significant other get out and do something together where you can leave distractions behind and just enjoy each other. The key here is nurturing the relationship, something Mark Harai can teach us all something about.
Dinner Together at the Table Continue reading “How to keep your family happy” »
I finally drug my butt out of the tent around 7am after an awesome night of conversation around the campfire….but it was about that time when I began to wonder if staying up until 3am was a good idea.
I was surrounded by my family and some of my closest friends, but there was no escaping the fact that it was a brisk morning. I was tired, cold, and all I could think about was finding a place to scavenge some extra layers of clothing. So I headed to my secret compartment (aka behind the seat of my truck) to find anything to help me get warm.
As I tilted the seat forward, the hat was the first thing I saw, so I grabbed it and headed straight for the campfire.
“What’s that on your head?” my wife asked.
“Oh, this is lucky hat”, I said casually.
“What do you mean lucky hat?” she asked.
After an exhausting day of travel, I had just arrived at my hotel in Fort Worth Texas. I was traveling alone, and had come to take a three day course on swimming pool construction. Continue reading “What is your lucky hat? What motivates you?” »
How are we improving over time? That’s a valid question right?
You see, I’ve been a big guy my whole life. Through my early twenties and thirties my weight varied from 240 to 270 pounds. At almost six feet tall, it’s pretty safe to say….I was a chunky monkey.
Here’s where I was:
Plenty of excuses to go around right? Well, that’s the way I lived for the first decade of my married life.
Up to that point I had periodically done (and still do) a very effective personal development exercise. I would meditate on this one question:
What’s the one thing I could change right now in my life that would make the most difference?
For years and years I had the same answer. It was always to exercise and eat right. This was my one stumbling block…..for what seemed like ages. I just couldn’t seem to kick it!
Yesterday my son came to me and said Dad, one day I was in your room looking at a picture of you and I just started crying because I missed you.”A hush of silence came over that noisy little habitat for a moment, and I replied “you know what Derek, sometimes I look at pictures of you guys and think about how fast you’re growing up…and I cry too.”
Is it healthy to dread the day your children leave home?
Our children are going to grow up and start a life of their own. That’s the way this life was designed. The way I see it there are two ways to deal with this inevitable truth:
We can either live in Fear or we can Accept it.
When my son Marc was born I was so absolutely enamored with him that I literally believed that the joy I was feeling couldn’t last. I immediately began to fear losing him, and became an emotional wreck at the mere thought of living my life without him.
It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I came to realize how unhealthy this really was. Continue reading “Are you afraid of children growing up? Fear of Loss” »
When you teach, the content of your teaching automatically establishes the standard by which you are judged.
In other words, if you’re gonna talk it you better walk it. But walking the walk often requires making tough decisions, like changing for example…which many aren’t willing to do.
Another reason business folks don’t share information with the world is because they feel it gives them an advantage over the consumer. If they give the info, they lose their advantage. Information is power, and yes, giving the consumer information does empower them. I initially thought this was a transfer of power from me to them as well. But what I now understand is that both the teacher and the student gain power in this exchange of information and both end up better off.
The teacher gains trust and credibility and the consumer gains the ability exercise their own free will through having an abundance of information.
The point of this post is simply this: Whatever information you possess that will benefit others, share it openly with the world. Good things will find their way back to you. Call it karma, call it blessings, call it whatever you want; but it just so happens to be true.
Maybe today’s a good day to take our well-being self-assessment
That’s a good thing to do right….check our vital signs every once in a while?
By the way, why do doctors take time to check our blood pressure, temperature, and reflexes when we go for a visit?
It’s because they’re indicators of our physical well-being. Turns out, the same principle applies to our spiritual health, only the vital signs differ.
So let’s take a moment to reflect on how we’re doing spiritually through this self-assessment exercise. Rank yourself from 1-5 for each of these categories, one being lowest, and then we’ll reflect on the results.
Ready to get started?….ok, go ahead and turn your head and cough:)
How patient are you? Do you have a short fuse, or become irritated easily? Are you frequently in a bad mood? Our temperament is often indicative of two things: our level of consciousness and degree of presence. When we’re discontent with the present moment or in some form of self-loathing we become irritable and impatient. To read more on our level of consciousness, check out a great article by Justin Mazza here. Continue reading “Well-being self-assessment. The 12 Vital Signs” »
I looked at the hour meter on my truck the other day and it read 6878 hours. That’s over 9 months of the past 7 years of my life that I’ve spent in the seat of that truck…holy crap!
And I’m not alone; many of us spend a huge portion of our lives in transit, so the question is this:
What are we doing to improve ourselves with all this windshield time?
Take a moment to reflect on how you utilize your drive time.
In the past 6 months, how have you used your time behind the wheel to do the following?
As this has certainly been something that has changed my life, I thought I’d share how I’ve tried to take advantage of my time behind the wheel.
I know I’m on the right track when I make great use of my drive time. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a little drive time recreation [insert “Night at the Roxbury” visual], but when I reflect on what I’ve learned in the seat of that truck over the past 7 years, I wouldn’t trade it for all of my formal education combined….including college. Continue reading “Achieving Personal Development When Driving” »
Soon or later you will run into criticism. The question is how will you respond to it? A normal reaction is to be defensive, and that’s quite often the point at which you need to take a deep breath and count to five.
Dale Carnegie in his classic book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, the edition I have is from the 1950’s but it’s principles are timeless which makes it such a classic. To quote him, “Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes him defend himself”.
So imagine a scenario where you are talking to a prospect who is interested in joining your company and you explain it’s a network marketing business opportunity. They respond, “But they are all just pyramid scams!” Your reaction may be to defend your opportunity by explaining why it is not a scam.
Carnegie explains this will most probably cause resentment in your prospect and they will become defensive pushing their point of view. The correct course of action is to ask a question. Ask them why they think anetwork marketing business opportunity is a scam? Make sure to take notes, even if you are on the phone, this will give you time to process the points.
Now address the points by for example, in the case of a ‘pyramid scheme’ the person at the top always earns the most. In network marketing it perfectly possible for someone recruited into the business to earn more money than the person who recruited them. The key here is you are not disputing the person, you are giving them facts. It’s a process of education that overcomes criticism if anything will. Continue reading “How will you respond to criticism” »
Listening is fundamental in a work from home careers
In a direct sales opportunity you will be in daily contact with people. As I discussed on my post on never criticizing, you have to be able to listen. By listening I mean ‘active listening’, which is a skill that is taught to managers and employees to enable them to do their jobs more effectively.
Active listening to someone who may be interested in work from home careers involves:
Not interrupting the other person even if you have a good idea, wait for a natural pause then inject your idea as an open question
Open questions are vital to active listening, they are questions that invite the other person to elaborate
Listening to the other person more than talking but making sure you are genuine in your interest – faking will be spotted immediately
Reflecting back, which means that if you say, “network marketers are never successful because XXX”, then you would start by saying, “So if I understand you, you believe network marketers are never successful because XXXX, where did you hear that?” This invites a response from the other person.
Your aim is to be a good conversationalist, because to persuade someone to join in work at home careers you need them to want to. Dale Carnegie in his book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, says; “So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested”
I am fortunate to have been through a professional training program to learn about active listening. If you are interested in looking behind the scenes of a lucrative alternative to a network marketing business opportunity please enter your name and email above.
The secret sauce of a business opportunity
This is the second installment in my discussion of how the principles in, How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie can be used by network marketers.
Dale Carnegie starts his discussion on his second principle with this simple statement; “There is only one way under high heaven to get anybody to do anything. ……..And that is by making the other person want to do it. Remember there is no other way.”
There is in all of us an innate need to feel important. Studies have shown that ‘I’ is the most used word in telephone conversations for example. So what this means for you as a network marketer is that people are not interested in you. Brutal I know but it’s a fact. They are interested in themselves and what your product or service can do for them.
Knowing this information there is a ‘secret sauce’ you can use. Lack of appreciation is one of the single biggest reason’s people give for leaving their jobs. Therefore if you want someone to join you as a business associate in your network marketing business opportunity you have to show genuine interest in them.
The crucial thing is that this is unable to be faked, people can see through feigned interest straight away. This requires you to take time to listen to the other person and show genuine interest. The final element is to demonstrate you have shown interest by showing appreciation.
For example a client is in when you rang them at the agreed time and ready to speak to you, start the conversation by thanking them for being ready, ask them how they are. Crucially do not think you are wasting time getting to know the person, people love to talk about themselves. This is how you find out about them. Successful network marketers operate this way; they ‘sort’ people who are really interested in a network marketing business opportunity from people who have a passing interest.
If being in a network marketing business opportunity appeals to you feel free to enter your name and email address above for a look behind the scenes at the network marketing business opportunity that is training me to use Carnegie’s techniques to best effect.
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